Don't look around too much...This is only a peek. If I catch you snooping around, you will be eliminated!

Monday, January 31, 2005

Wiener Shots!!

Let's see where to begin....um...well...okay

Friday...Friday was another wasted day as far as anything productive goes. Got home from Illinois around 10am then went up to school to finish my coil pots for ceramics. Ha what a waste of clay. They look awful! But hay, it's art! Went to the noon lecture with some lady from Washington University and listened to her struggle to talk about their public art exhibit. She was a terrible speaker and it was tough to get through an hour with her. Friday night, I went back and seen my two favorite small people. Who else...Chloe and Mitchie. All was good, once Mitch went to bed Chloe and I did all sorts of illegal stuff you can only do with your cousin. We ate the rest of a candy necklace right before bed, we stayed up late and watched the Barrett-Jackson auction, we yelled and laughed for no reason being quite loud, she ran up and down the hallway. It was good fun. We then read a classic "Hop on Pop" and she went down to sleep.

Saturday...Went to the farm around 11. I was in quite the mood and ready to express to my enemy just what I thought of his behavior, but Mom (Sandy) sensed it and made me promise not to say anything to him and just leave him alone. Damn it. So I got the gator started and did some random things until Tricia decided she was ready to be friendly. We finished feeding together and chatted for about an hour. Everything from weddings to sending certain people to other countries to work. It was good. We haven't had a good conversation in a long time. Tricia caught the new calf (now she has one and I have one) and I hauled it up to the house. Once all was finished for the day out there I left. Arrived home and Lukas came over to visit. I helped dad organize all of our random vw parts, and let me tell you we have plenty. By the time that was through Tricia was getting off work and we headed over to Wild Country for some Saturday night dancing. We had to make a quick stop by Walgreens because I had a coupon for five candy necklaces for a dollar. What a steal! So I got ten. Whoever invented the candy necklace should get a raise. Think about it- it's fashion and a snack! And you get random boys wanting to chew on your neck!! BONUS! Dancing was real fun. The only problem was that it was sooo hot in there. I don't even think hot is the word, it was scorching! But schnapps were on sale for 1.75 so after five or six randomly colored drinks we were ready to head home. It was a good night. Tricia and I haven't hung out just the two of us in a while and we had fun.

Sunday...After waking up at 7 am because Lukas wanted to know if I thought "Marvin was awake yet" we got ready to head downtown for the Barkus Parade and wiener dog races. The weather was beautiful, a little cold but the sun was out. Alex, Lukas and I headed down to get some shots for my photography class. Mom, Dad, Cory, Schultz and Fritz soon joined us. For Christmas my buddy Lee made me a real cute monkey from Build-A-Bear and dressed it up in Buzz Lightyear clothes, just so happens the clothes fit on Fritz! So he was Buzz Lightyear Space Dog. It was REAL cute! We finished there around 3 and headed home. I wrote a quick paper for photography class and then headed up to Concord to meet some friends to play soccer. They were short a girl player (it's a co-ed team) and so asked me to play. Indoor soccer is soooooo much faster than outdoor. I haven't played much indoor so I don't know all the different rules. I had at least 4 penalties in the first half for either kicking from behind or roughing. Whatever! But in the second half some big girl took me down. No joke she knocked me completely over and my feet went over my head backwards. Did she get a penalty? Of course not. It was so nice to be back on the soccer field though I can't explain it. We ended up winning 4-3 and I was invited back for the rest of the season! Alex went with me (mainly to drive me home bc I was so tired) and so he sat on our bench and then he overheard one of the other girls on our team talking about me and how I was good and where did I come from. HA I'M GOOD! hehe, it was definitely a power trip though, at least for the rest of the night.

This morning I woke up at 6:30 crying because my chest hurt so bad. I must have pulled an upper chest muscle. Luckily, I knew Aunt Patty would have a remedy. I called her, and on her way to work she came up and helped me put on some icy/hot patch. Let me tell you, it's great. I can actually breath and walk now. Thank you thank you thank you.

So overall, a fantastic weekend. If I could change it would I? Um...yes, just parts though. I missed out working with Dad this weekend. We were supposed to put the motor in the bus Sunday but instead went downtown. I really value our bonding time, and we don't get it nearly enough. Mostly late at night when everyone else is sleeping and we're both awake on the computers or working in the garage on the bus. Who else do you know can drink beer and smoke cigars with their dad and do it mostly to piss off your brother?

I recently got another feel good action. Last night, someone told me that they appreciated an action that I had made to them. It was a small gesture, but it really hit home. It was that feel good feeling again. Thank you, you know who you are.

So congratulations to you if you actually made it all the way through that blog! Sorry it was so long, I had a lot to say. It was more for me to type out, than for you to have to read I think. But anyways, way to go! Treat yourself with a cookie or something good. Maybe a big bowl of popcorn (hehe), that always puts someone I know in a good mood.

It's the start of a new week...Let's make it a good one!

Take Care,
You know you love me,

Friday, January 28, 2005

Good Times!

Dancing this week was probably one of the best times that I've had in a long time. I don't know if I can explain why, I just had a good time. There were some people there that I hadn't seen in a couple weeks and the rest were regulars. I didn't even get drunk! Don't get me wrong now, I did have some drinks, but nothing obsessive. I danced with a slew of people that I hadn't previously danced with before, and we all had a good time. Not to mention the eye candy was fabulous! It's just a feel good day for me, a good break from my overcast week.

It's that feeling when you can't stop smiling, yet you don't really know what you're smiling about to begin with. The sun seems to shine brigher and the music sounds clearer. You don't even get mad when someone cuts you off in traffic. Now that's a good day!

More to come later.....

Take Care,
You know you love me,

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

It's Wednesday!

Can you believe it's already Wednesday? That means tomorrow is Thursday! DANCING! Already. I think I lost my dance partner though. She just says she has no interest anymore. I know the real reason, she was seeing a boy from there, and now they're on bad terms and she doesn't want to face him. Wussie. I love it when the week goes by this fast. Although I was sick on Monday, so maybe that's why.

So lets talk Vienna...you know overseas. What's the winter like there? I have an awesome opportunity to study abroad and I think I'm going to go Spring 1 of 2006. That would be from January to March, 8 weeks. I'm trying to talk Liz into going with me, so who knows! But everyone is trying to talk me into going Fall 1 that would be from August to October. I would miss my birthday here and that would make me sad. But I don't want to go in January if the weather over there is like it is here. That would be silly of me. But just think...it would be Vienna! Hott European men rowing me on a gondala (sorry cant spell that just sound it out), drinking in the vineyards after class...ahh i can picture it now.

Enough daydreaming...

Can you choose to not be you?

I think you can choose if you want to be you or not, as far as how you act. But just because you act different than yourself dosen't mean you think differently. I think that if you really want to, then you can change who you are on the inside. Nobody wants to stay being someone they don't like. Some people probably want to change but are either too afraid to do it because who they are now is familier, or they are afraid of what others will think of them. I think a lot of people act one way when they feel another because they think it's cooler and that more people will like them if they act that way. After awhile I think they lose touch with themselves as well.

So in the end I think you can change who you are and you can pretend not to be you, but you can never really not be yourself.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Just a rant!

As my mind spins in a million directions, I propose some questions. Not to be answered but just some questions that spin my mind:

What is really going on here?

Just when you think you know someone so well, things change and you find out really, you hardly know them at all. Ain't that a bitch?

How can someone who makes you smile more than anyone else, also cause you such unrest?

Who steals someones RV?

Why does my computer hate me? (noone answer this one!)

Why can't life work out just like it does in story books?

War, what's it good for?

Why can't everyone just get along?

Why can't we be friends?

Okay, that's enough for now....I've got like a million more, but that's enough....

Take care,
You know you love me,

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Weekend Recap

Friday...Nothing too exciting babysat Chloe and Mitchie....Mitch went to bed around 6:15 then it was time for Chole and I to play. We read books, looked at pictures and ate ice cream. She's 2 1/2 and right at that age where she's a very small parrot. Any and everything you say, she tries to repeat. It's so cute. Her brain is like a sponge just absorbing everything that comes before her. It's really a fun age.

...Farm in the morning...in an attempt to make peace with my enemy out there I placed a dead rabbit in his pocket in hopes of making him laugh...no dice. I just got it thrown at me. O well, can't say I didn't try. It was cold as hell, but all got fed and hayed (if that's a word). Saturday night, I ventured over to Illinois and joined a good friend at Wild Country. He was doing his own thing with his buddy and so I busied myself with dancing and chatting with others. For some reason, every half hour or so he would come and check out my drink situation frequently buying another. I think he wanted to get me liquored up!!! Luckly, he was the driver and I remember going to Wal-Mart at some absurd hour and I got some paintbrushes...whatever. I have to thank him though, because I know how obnoxious I can get after the alcohol kicks in, he took very good care of me and for that I say thank you.

...Nothing...literally. Slept in until like noon and then watched football all afternoon. Another Sunday down the shit hole with nothing accomplished. O well.

Now I have to switch modes from weekend to weekday and get my mind back on track. As I prepare for another week at school, I'd just like to take a second to thank everyone who has helped me to get where I am. I have a great family who supports me in ALL that I do, no questions asked. Wether it be schooling or life issues, I can always count on my family to be right behind me always pushing me to reach for the stars and accomplish my dreams. I am a very strong-willed and determined person. I know what I want and I don't think twice about going out to get it, but sometimes, I can second guess myself. You guys are always there to reassure my decisions. I hate failure and quite frankly, I'm scared of it. I understand that you have to lose sometimes to win but that sucks. I sometimes find myself unsure of taking a chance for fear of rejection or failure. But no matter what happens, I always know I can come home to a loving home. I could't ask for anything better, and I count my blessings and thank God each and every day that He has blessed me with these people. You guys know who you are...I LOVE YOU.

Enough of that. Sorry just had that on my mind.

Let's have one hell of a week.

Take care,
You know you love me,

Friday, January 21, 2005

Quiz Time Baby!

Here try this and see how you do.... http://lildojh.friendtest.com


Welcome to Friday. Finally. One week of school down and what only um....15 more to go. What happened last night you ask? Well it was Thursday so dancing of course. But, all of my companions had decided to be lame and noone wanted to go with me, so ya know what? I just went by myself. Met up with my friends there and danced danced danced. A certain someone called me around 1030 and stated his spot on the map. I then departed my location and was off to be foolish for another night in Illinois.

Why? Not quite sure of that answer yet. Well, yes I am, I know why I do it, because I like him. Why else would someone stick around after they were told that they were second best and leave their friends and fun atmosphere only to go over and chill out on the couch?

"Because you're foolish dARLA thats why!"

yeah yeah yeah I know, but frankly being foolish is making me happy and getting me by these days. So whatever.

You know you love me,
Take care,

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Smoky Nights

I think I'm getting back into the school groove. Although I had school today from 10-5 , it went rather well. All studio art classes. And can you believe that someone that I hadn't seen since last semester asked me today if I lost weight! I love when that happens. So, on that note Liz and I had a turtle caramel nut sippable sundae from Steak 'n Shake. Talk about delicious. We also traveled to the Wal-Mart to pick up some school supplies. Talk about an adventure.
Remember when you were younger hanging out with your friends and you would sit and talk about what things were gonna be like "when you grew up?" I've recently been hanging out with an old friend and its totally like what I wanted it to be like "when I grew up." Hanging out and just doing nothing but laughing, talking and driving around. Man, I love that feeling, like nothing could happen that would ruin this time.
Okay okay enough of that guess its time for sleep.

Take care,
You know you love me,

Speak only when spoken to

I'll make this short and to the point. I'm a firm believer in the phrase that "everything happens for a reason." God has some great plan for all of us. Although we may not see it right away, in the long run, it will all make sense. However, He will not carry us the entire way, He nudges us in the correct direction constantly no matter what we're doing. But remember, "what goes around, comes around." The actions that you make today may someday come back to kick you in the ass. And when they do, it won't be pleasant. You get what you deserve and thats how it is. Don't be all pissed off and put out by the fact that all of a sudden, you are the one that is on the shitty side of the road, instead, stay strong and consider it a lesson learned. Growing up is a learning experience and if it was so easy then everyone would be doing it! Stay strong guys, we can get through anything.

Until Then,
Take care,

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Day 1

Well, I'm home and I didn't get my lunch money stolen. (partly because mom didn't leave me any (thanks mom!)) Classes were good. First was Intro to the History of Western Art at 9am this morning. I arrived and, of course, found no where to park, so I had to park down the garage and walk up. I have the same professor that I had last semester for History of Current Art. I then remembered why each morning before that class I drank some sort of drink with caffine. He's a good instructor it's just early and all we do is view slides while he lectures. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Although, there is a fun new boy named Kevin who today sat behind me. Hehehe. Next, I had The Study of Non-Verbal Behavior. This class I think will prove to be pretty interesting, learning how and why people treat other people differently because of the way they are dressed or nationality. I then went back over to the Art Building and waited for Liz to get outta 3-D design. We went to grade school together at St. Margaret Mary Alacoque (curse that school) and now we meet again 7 years later. We've been friends all along but it's nice to go to school with her again. Fun times to come, no doubt about it! Liz and I enjoyed lunch and I introduced her to my buddy Jeff. I walked Liz to her 1pm class and went over to meet with my work study guy. See I'm his assistant and it's a joke for real. He pays me $8.50/hr which is pretty good for work study but I hate it. I'd rather work for a nickel and have it be something that I enjoy. For real, last semester he purchased a 300 page book and then realized that the type in it was too small so I had to photocopy the ENITRE book on 11x17 paper enlarging it 300%. The whole book. What a waste. That's the kind of stuff I have to do. So, I met with him and discussed when we're gonna be meeting this semester. Ahhhhh whatever I can handle it for another 16 weeks I suppose. But mark my word, I'm not going to do it again next semester.

So, now I'm home and I suppose I'll clean my room.

Until Then,
Take care,

Monday, January 17, 2005


YIKES!! So, tomorrow I start my second semester at Webster University. Nervous? Um..no. I just don't wanna go. I've had a little over four weeks off and now I'm not in the school mood. I'll adjust though.
What's that? I can't quite hear you. Oh okay, what classes am I taking. I thought you'd never ask.
  • Painting 1
  • Alternate Printing in Photography
  • Ceramics 1
  • Intro to the History of Western Art (yippee)
  • The Study of Non-Verbal Behavior
So, that's about it. Wish me luck. I hope I don't get beat up and get my lunch money taken! I'll let you know how it goes.

My weekend?
Thursday night was dancing as usual. Tricia and I brought a whole group with us. The truck was full to the gills. We had a good time, well, I did at least. That place is like a little slice of heaven for me. I can get away and forget what was weighing down on me all week. Plus, HOTT COWBOYS!! What more could you ask for? There was a particularly eye catching one this week. I didn't get to speak with him much, just during the barn dance. I did make an effort to go over and tell him goodnight before a certain someone and I left. I hope he shows up again soon!
Friday night Matt and I met Joe Wiseman and that whole group up at Harrahs for some gambling and drinking. No, I didn't win. In fact, I lost. $90.00 to be exact. Don't bring it up though, I'm still a little upset about that. But, the drinks masked the sadness very well. Drink after drink and before we knew it, it was 2:30am. Well, Matt, the good desginated driver, drove me home and I found my pillow somewhere around 3am.
Saturday I was farmin' it in the morning. Making sure that everything had hay and fresh water. Tricia and I didn't talk too much. I suspect she's still a little mad from Thursday night. (But that's a whole other subject) Um...then, well.....Let's just say I had an extended stay in Illinois. No juicy info, so don't even ask. A lot of football and sleeping. Yes, I said sleeping!

All for now, Take care.


P.S. Who's ready for camping????? The bus is almost finished. I'll get some pics of it up ASAP!! I was at Wal-Mart today and I decided that I wanted to buy one of those little green rugs that has astro-turf on it with the little daisy on the corner. Won't that just be sweet? LOL

New Deal

Well, here it is. My blog. Welcome. Browse. Stay awhile. Not too long though. This will become a new home for my thoughs and feelings. Beware and read with caution.

P.S. I'd like to apoligize to anyone and everyone who reads this and get offended. These are my raw feelings and that's how it goes. If you don't like it, don't read it. Any questions?